Pregnancy Details... From the Top.

Upon hearing the news..

How it happened.

Well, the old fashioned way. I had been racking my brain about Spring Break plans but Andrew and I ended up staying home and enjoying our town and exercising and having lots of...fun.  It was a relaxed, sleep in, decide-what-to-do-that-day kind of vacation. Though I love getting out of town, I think now that I wouldn't be pregnant now if we had. Also, it was ONE time of not being cautious and saying, Whatever, why bother?  

How I figured it out.
Andrew claims he could tell....but we didn't figure it out until about 4 weeks later (which is weirdly, 6 week pregnant). I thought I had had my period (which is usually very light). Apparently that day was just implantation. I was waiting for the real one to come. I mean, I had PMS, so I thought.. severe exhaustion, moody, not feeling right. I even left work early on Friday, after a long week. I had been pounding 4 cups of coffee and it wasn't helping. (Sidenote: coffee is a no-no the first trimester--it doubles the rate of miscarriage.) I was moaning and groaning to Andrew that evening when he suggested I might be pregnant. I was defensive or in denial...NO WAY. Then, "Okay, well, I'll only take the test if you buy it. I'm doing this only so I can drink at my cousin's wedding without concern (a week away)."  He got the test. It said wait 3 minutes and within 10 seconds there was a line. We were both in shock.

A week later.. family reunion at my cousin's wedding.
I had to hide it. My whole family was coming to town for my best friend/dear cousin's wedding in Yosemite. I was kind of in a daze and wanted to wait until the news set in before revealing it. Also, my cousin told me (jokingly, she tells me now) not to get pregnant before her, and look what I'd gone and done right before her big day. I usually tell her everything, so I felt like a big liar keeping it to myself...but she had enough on her mind for the week. My immediate family was kind of sick during the wedding so they didn't notice that I was just as happy as them to go to bed early and lay around. Another cousin who is VERY pro-baby, kept giving me advice about having babies. I was more receptive to her input than usual. At the wedding reception, where I toasted with champagne but did not sip, the bride marches over and says, "Are you PREGNANT?" And I was like, "WHAT, why would you ask me that?" And she said, "(The pro-baby-older-cousin) says you are, and that's why you're not drinking." I kind of dismissed it with, "I don't feel like drinking but maybe I am so let's talk later." I honestly had a hard time keeping up with the partying people, but I was in the bridal party so felt I needed to play the part. All I wanted to do was be asleep by 11pm (normally I'm a night owl).

I ended up calling my cousin at a beach stop, on the drive back from the wedding, and confessing all.

I told my family when we got back to my house in Santa Barbara. I swore them to secrecy, telling them it's not really "real" yet. They were also shocked, but really happy and excited. Then after I told them I cried and said I wish I hadn't told them so I had more time to think about it without their influence.

I hope I don't sound heartless or ungrateful. I started this as "pregnancy memories" but I thought I'd start with an honest account from the beginning. I'm normally an emotional person, so I have to feel through everything. I am currently very very happy and honored to be having a baby now.

     Happy my baby will have Aunties! Lany can teach the babe to surf and take risks.                                                  
Holly will be the sympathetic aunt who will always listen.

The first trimester was rough physically and emotionally. I'm learning a lot. I didn't know that the first part of pregnancy, before people can tell or are told, is often the toughest. I promise, the next post will be full of fun, happy second-trimester, memories. It really is the honeymoon stage!